What Love is This

With Valentines Day this weekend and half the world buying romantic cards, roses, candy hearts and chocolate for eachother, I wanted to send out a reminder that this day is not about love. And for all my single, female friends out there, this Sunday is not the time to be feeling sorry that there is no special guy to send you a dozen roses and a box of mint chocolates wafers. You aren’t missing out on anything. Really.

Like Christmas, and most other holidays we tend to acknowledge and/or celebrate, Valentine’s Day is rooted in paganism. The name itself comes from a a Roman Catholic priest. He believed in godly, Christian marriages and performed them during a dark time in Europe’s history. Emperor Claudius had outlawed marriage because men were better soldiers if they did not have a wife and children. Young couples in the church who wanted to get married anyway, went to Valentine to be joined together in secret. Once caught, Valentine was tortured, imprisoned and eventually beheaded. Not very romantic, is it?

Of course the Catholic church in tme made him into the patron saint of lovers. But it didn’t stop there. In 380 ad Christianity (really Catholicism) became the official religion of the Roman Empire. Many of the pagans eventually converted, but they didn’t quite leave all their traditions and rituals behind. The fertility festival, Lupercalia, was one such custom. You can read more about this festival here: The dark side of Valentine’s Day and The real story about Valentine’s Day.

The church saw this festival as an opportunity to honor their saint Valentine and so they adopted the pagan day and Christianized it.

“Early Christians were happier with the idea of a holiday (Valentine’s) honoring the saint of romantic causes than with one recognizing a pagan festival. In 496 A.D., Pope Gelasius named February 14 in honor of St. Valentine as the patron saint of lovers. ” (How Valentine’s Day Works, Apr. 1, 2000, retrieved Jan. 11, 2011)

It’s easy to go along with the world when it comes to the popular holidays. They are normal and you are considered odd if you don’t celebrate them. But as Christians, our desire should be to please and bring glory to God. The question we must ask ourselves, is, does a holiday rooted in paganism do that? I would adamantly say no, because if we read the Bible we’ll find it has a few things to say about following the ways of the heathen.

“Learn not the ways of the heathen… for the customs of the people are vain.” Jeremiah 10:2

“Take heed to thyself that thou be not snared by following them…and that thou enquire not after their gods, saying, How did these nations serve their gods? Thou shalt not do so unto the Lord thy God: for every abomination to the Lord, which he hateth, have they done unto their gods.” Deuteronomy 12:30,31

“And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God…Wherefore come out from among them and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.” 2 Corinthians 6:16,17

Can it get any clearer? Gods word speaks for itself. If we are His temple, we must be jealously guarding it’s gates from things like pagan practices, that would pollute it.

So if Valentine’s Day endearments and gifts aren’t real love, what is it? Fake love would be the simple answer. Actually, the romantic, fuzzy-feeling kind-of-love encouraged in our culture today is called eros. It is the Greek word for an erotic, self centered and sensual love. Found in man-woman relationships, this love focuses on how “you make me feel”, and “I love you because you love me.” In this way, couples can fall out of love as easily as they fell into it. While eros is healthy within a marriage, it is destructive outside of the God ordained institution. In addition, eros is not what sustains a marriage. It cannot keep a husband and wife together, but agape love will.

Agape love is the ultimate love. It’s also the one we don’t naturally have inside us. God’s love is agape, or charity as we read of in 1 Corinthians 13. This love is everlasting, accepting and understanding. When I think of true love, three descriptions come to mind.

Love is sacrifice

Agape is all about what you do for someone else. “Seeketh not her own.” 1 Cor 13:5 We already know that God loves us. He always has and always will. Thus, we don’t need to look for love from anyone else. Our only assignment is to love others as he has loved us. We do this in our actions because love is a verb. As depicted in the photo above, love is about what we do and it’s often hard work. It’s not meant to be easy. But our decision and commitment to love others is proof of God’s Spirit working in our lives. We can sacrifice ourselves and serve someone else because Christ, the author of love, gives us the power to do so.

Love is repentance

We all love to be right. It hurts our pride when we aren’t, and it’s even worse when we have to admit it to someone. When engaged in a conflict, agape doesn’t focus on the faults in the other person. Instead it sees the problem in the mirror and drives you to do your part by saying “I was wrong” or “I’m sorry” Repentance is a beautiful thing!

Love is forgiveness

After repentance comes forgiveness. Yet, repentance is not required if you are the one needing to forgive someone. Agape forgives even if the other person never admits their wrong and asks you to forgive them. Love is about loving those who don’t deserve it. After all, we didn’t deserve God’s love. Yet He sent His beloved Son to die on the cross for our sin. What a wondrous love that is!

And agape love is so much more. There are endless words to describe it’s actions and behaviors. Something else to remember, is agape love often does not feel good to us. For example, children receiving instruction from parents may not like what they are being told. Most often correction won’t sound like the love our flesh wants to feel. Our natural state resists the correction and rebuke that is given out of love.

As Valentine’s Day comes around again and I’m still single just as I was last year, and the year before, and so on, I’m reminding myself of God’s love for me. I don’t need to feel it from anyone. I am already so loved and valued by my King and my Redeemer! Because he washed me with His blood, I am a new creature, and I can love others with that same sacrifice and endurance.

Love never fails.

“Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.”

1 John 4:11

“My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue, but in deed and truth.”

1 Peter 3:18